Calling all Arnold and Hollingsworth girl cousins

Oh and Jessica sister who is in provo. We are inviting you to come to Good Ol' St. George Utah in January. Aunt Robin is coming for most of January and it would be so fun to have everyone come for a little reunion. Please try to come. We have tons of room between my house and my moms and we would love to have you. Lizzie and Rebecca I think will come. It doesn't have to be for long. Just please try to make it. Love you all!!!!

My Birthday

I loved my birthday this year. I totally got spoiled and had a lot of fun. I got curtains, a rug, cups, a calender, and a new bed spread. I would post pictures but I am sooooo lazy these days. I love all of my things but the best was the cards this year. I love heart felt cards. Krista, my foster daughter, wrote me the sweetest card and I wasn't even expecting it. It is moments, like reading that card, that make all the hard work in foster care worth it. Curtis also wrote a lot of nice things in his card to me and even little Ivy picked out a card for me and colored in it. From the looks of it it took her a really long time and it just meant a lot. She keeps asking me if I liked it. We went to dinner with Natalie and Aaron at red lobster and it was a lot of fun.

I really can't believe it has only been one year since my last birthday. That might sound strange but so much has happened in the last year. My last birthday I was in the doctors office with Ivy getting her tested for a bunch of things. A couple days later we found out she has celiac disease. Then we had Cove, moved 2 times, and then all of my medical stuff. I feel like it has been five years. I just hope that this next year is more mellow.

Hey you private bloggers

I want you to try to invite me to your blogs again. My email is katz.kreationz@gmail.com. I really hope it works this time. I don't know what the deal is. Thanks. Oh and sorry I haven't been keeping up with my comments. I have been reading just been kinda sick and busy so I haven't been commenting.

Oops...BIG SURPRISE

The last few weeks I have been really hot at night especially my feet. I was also sweating a lot and I was so tired. I thought it was caused from whatever cause my brain lesions so I had my doctor put me on meds. I was also a little irritable and not dropping any of my baby weight even though I was working out. Well everything started to make sense a couple days ago when I took a test and it said I was pregnant. Yes I said it. I am already pregnant and my baby is just 6 months. I will be pregnant for the holiday 2 years in a row and have a new born 2 summers in a row. Isn't that strange? Wonder what this will be like. Wonder if I know what I am in for. I have no idea how far a long I am because I haven't even had a real period since I had Cove. I could be anywhere from 5 to 12 weeks along. It is all so strange. At first I was really shocked but now I am way happy. My kids will be so close in age and I can get done with the pregnant stuff sooner. I have a hard time keeping my babies past 5 weeks but for some reason I really think I won't miscarry this baby. Mostly because when cove was about 2 months I had a feeling that Curtis and I should start trying. It came on strong but I flat out told God no way, not now. I guess it is just meant to be. Can't complain about that. I am so excited now anyway. I can't wait to meet everyone that is supposed to be in my family and I guess whenever they decide to come will be fine with me.

Also on a quick note...I have some posts I am finishing up about my trip and some other fun summer things. I know I am way behind.

Ivy Says The Funniest Things

She says...
" can't" for don't and "for" for to.
"Oh, Okay, Mom...That doesn't fit you." After I got dressed.
"Wow Mom, your boobs look awesome." We were getting changed into our swim suits.
"I can't wanna make friends" Going into nursery.
"I can't want it to be Daddy's birthday, I want it to be my birthday." Then starts to cry. This was while we were making his cake and I told her it was his birthday thinking she would be happy.
Then 3 days after his birthday, out of the blue she say's, "I never have a birthday, never, never, never."
She is really starting to tell lies too and for some reason mostly about my Mom. She told me Grandma made a purse for Jessica and then broke Jessica's purse. So then Ivy put Grandma in the corner and she wouldn't stop crying. Then a couple days later she told me Grandma keeps hitting Grandpa. Ivy says she told my mom, "Stop it right now Grandma or you will go in the corner." I don't know why she makes up lies about her. My mom is one of her favorite people.

IT ALL JUST HIT ME

Typing this post is really out of my comfort zone and that's why I want to do it. Lately confronting my fears has been my thing. Plus I want to have this for journal purposes. This is the first time in months that I have sat down alone for more than 15 min without anything to do. Curtis is gone camping and all of the kids are in bed. I didn't realize how scary the silence can be. I think everything from the last 6 months just hit me. ALOT has happened. I knew it was happening but this is the first time it has hit me. I don't know if it makes sense or not. Looking back I don't even know how I managed Ivy having celiac disease, morning sickness, foster kid stress, having a baby, and the latest medical stuff. I always do this thing where I won't take time to let my self feel or I think people around me judge me for expressing my feelings. I get embarrassed and feel like I am weak or that people will think I am over reacting. Well I am getting over that now. I am definitely at my breaking point. It's time to admit the way I feel and forget about what people might think. I am scared how brain lesions might affect the quality of my life or the timing my life. I am afraid for Ivy's health. I am overwhelmed trying to make time for my children and keep them healthy and safe. Every time I have a tiny headache, feel extra tired, or anything that feels different I pay attention now. I feel paranoid that something serious is going on or that this might be my last day of having a normal life. When I get a diagnosis that will be great. Than I can except it, treat it and move on knowing what I should and shouldn't do. Every time Ivy throws up or gets a rash I wonder what she ate or I worry that I fed her something wrong. Soon we will be used to everything and she will be healthy more than not. I am tired and overwhelmed but I am so thankful for my faith and my family. I can't imagine going through this without them. I feel bad for the people that don't have the those things in their lives.

TEST RESULTS

Yesterday I had my doctors appointment to go over all of my test results. I don't have cancer, lupus, or MS. What a relief. I was so afraid I was dying or something. This last week has been a way scary week for me. Right after I did my last post all of the spinal tap side effects set in. Ouch, I have never felt worse in my life. I felt so blessed to have my family close by to help me with the kids and finish all of my unpacking. I feel very blessed with timing as well. We had no idea when we moved that this was coming. If we wouldn't have just moved it would have been way harder for everyone to help out because they would have to drive for 30 to 45 minutes to get to me. I am so thankful God cares enough about us to work out all of the small details.

Now for the weird part. I guess when my spinal fluid came back they found something they have never seen before. Apparently I have Crystals in my spinal fluid. The lab called my Neurologist as soon as they found out to see if she had ever heard of that. She hasn't, nobody in the office has, and nobody in the lab as. They even called other labs and doctors to see they had. So either this is a really cool thing that I am capable of growing crystals or something is really wrong. I am relieved for now but they are doing a lot more tests. Now I have to see a eye doc and back to the ear doc to rule out 2 other possible diseases. Then if they rule those out back to the neurologists for another MRI and Spinal Tap in 6 months if my symptoms don't get bad first. If nothing shows up there I have to get a catheter in my thigh that goes all the way to my brain and I would have to be awake. Please pray that is doesn't come to that. That scares me and it cost 20 thousand dollars. I guess only time will tell.

IVY AND COVE

Sheena recently decided she wanted to start doing photography. She wanted to do some pics of my kids. I thought she did pretty well especially considering the environment we were in. It was a mad house with a bunch of kids yelling and screaming, Cove pooping non stop, and the dog barking. Sheen did a really good job. When I saw them on the camera that day I wasn't sure if they turned out but now I look at them and I really love them.

SPINAL TAP

Yesterday I had my spinal tap. I am so happy everything went well with it. My mom talked to Aunt Genni on the phone about when she was diagnosed with MS. I guess when she got her spinal tap it didn't go so well. She told my mom it was excruciating pain while they were doing it and a migraine for 2 days. I feel really blessed that I didn't have to experience that. I didn't even get the usual head ache. I will get my results from the spinal and all of the blood work on Tuesday. I am scared but also very calm. I can really feel every ones prayers. I remember reading that on Amy's blog once and not understanding exactly what she meant. Now I know and I am very thankful.

MY BABES

Brain Lesions

About a year ago I Found a lump in my throat behind my tonsil. I didn't really think much of it but decided to watch it. It seemed to have grown a tiny bit so I went to a ears, nose, and throat specialist. He said he just thought it was a bone spur (yes in the throat) or calcium build up. I thought while I was there I would tell him about this ear problem I have had since I was 14. I told him that when I heard base and deep sounds my ear would flutter like somebody was tapping on a microphone. He said he wanted to do a CT scan to check the lump in my throat and a MRI to check for a rare brain tumor that could cause ear flutters.
Monday I had my CT and MRI. ( The MRI was awful. I made them take me out once because it was so small. ) On Tuesday I got a call from the docs office saying my CT was fine and there was no serious mass to worry about in my neck or throat. That was a relief but then later that day I got a call from the Doctor himself. I knew that wasn't good. First he asked me how I was feeling. He said it in a way that made me think he was surprised I was feeling so well. He told me my MRI came back and I had multiple lesions in the bottom part of my brain and 9 spots that should calcium deposits. He told me they were going to schedule an appt. with a neurologist.
Yesterday I went to the neurologist and she was so cool. To bad the office is stupid. First they told me my appt. was at 1 30 then I show up and 120 and the lady tells Curtis and I that we were really early and had a long wait. I asked her if my appt was at 1 30 and she said, "No We tell people their appt is a half hour earlier so they will be on time." I was so mad. Seriously, what is the world coming to. Lets change the standard for stupid people that can't be on time a screw over the punctual people. Lame! She acted like I was stupid for being on time. I told her that was stupid and that I was there on time and that's what everyone should do. She didn't say anything. They also didn't have my actual MRI there. They just had a paper that described my MRI. Luckily my doctor is really good. She told me she doesn't think the lesions are cancer and doubts they are tumors. She also said she will do everything to avoid brain surgery. Those were all things I was most stressed about. She was with me for an hour or more straight. She asked me a million questions, tapped me with a bunch of things, and had me walking laps in a tiny room. It was so funny. Then I got blood taken and they took 14 tubes. She said she was thinking it was either lupus or MS. There is also a small chance that I had a bad infection that scared my brain when I was younger. That's what I am hoping for. My tests aren't even close to being over though. On monday we will hopefully see the actual MRI and then I have a spinal tap. That's where they take fluid right out of your spine. It will take 45 minutes and then I have to lay there for an hour after. I am excited for the reading time. I am a little sad about not being able to lift my babies for 24 hours straight though. I think I have another MRI coming up too but I don't know when. This is crazy and doesn't seem real. Hope that this turn out to be nothing. I will keep you all posted.

Cove's Blessing

Cove was blessed Sunday by Curtis. It was such a neat experience. We weren't active when Ivy was blessed so my Dad blessed her. That was a good experience too, but it was such a different feeling knowing that Curtis was able to do it. It may sound weird but I was so proud. Him having the priesthood has made an obvious difference in our home. It has been such a blessing. Cove was so cute in his little outfit and he didn't fuss at all during the entire meeting. Ivy was funny. She kept looking around at the entire family (who took up the whole middle section of the chapel) way confused. I am so happy with my growing family.

2 kids and 1 foster kid with a baby is ALOT!

Life has been so crazy. Getting used to a second child and a foster kid at the same time is really hard. I have a foster daughter who is 18 and just had a baby 3 days after I had Cove. We both had boys. It is a very interesting experience. It seems like I was just a teenager myself. I am trying my best but teenagers are hard. We have babies the same age but are in such different places in our lives. Even though this is a huge trial in my life it has been such a blessing. I feel like I have grown so much. It is really out of my comfort zone. Suddenly everything else in my life seems like it's not as hard anymore. Plus I like to think we are making a difference in her life too.

Happy Birthday Cove

Okay, so I am new at blogging and put the pictures on in the wrong order. It took me a long time to add them so please start from the bottom.

Luckily a couple hours later she was in love with him and wanted to help with everything. I love my growing little family.

Ivy was not happy to meet her brother. Right after the picture was taken she tried to push him off my lap. Then when I was feeding him a couple minutes later she starting crying and said, "Stop sucking her boob."

All dressed and ready to go home.

Look at that hair.

This is my favorite picture of the day. I love the way my parents look in this picture and how happy my mom and I are watching Dad hold Cove for the first time.

Natalie had to do my hair because for some reason I couldn't hold up my arms and Curtis tried really hard but just couldn't do it.

He looks just like his Daddy.

Grandma's first time holding him. I love this picture.

Look at my hansom boys.

This picture almost makes me cry. I can't even begin to describe the feelings. I love him so much.

I loved having my mom and sisters there with Curtis and I. Cori was out of town but everyone else was there. Natalie was my photographer so I thought. Turns out I had the paparazzi there. Mom and Sheena are taking a Photography class and showed up with their cameras. There were so many flashes going off while I was pushing. Even the Doctor said, "Wow, I didn't know we were having the paparazzi here today."

This picture cracks me up. Everyone was really cold while I was in labor. I made them turn the air down because I was so hot. Plus it cracks me up because it shows Curtis flirting with my mom. He is so cute with her. I love it.

This is Curtis and I before Delivery. Curtis was so good when I was in labor. He was so sweet and supportive. He is such a great husband and father.

PLEASE COME OUT

I am getting very anxious to have this baby. I really think he weighs about 8 lbs and I feel like he can get out now. I don't want to grow him any more. I am so big and uncomfortable. I keep telling him it's time and he won't listen. I have contractions and they just stop. Ouch. Please come out. Please come out.

Celiac Disease

These pictures were taken when Ivy was sick. Her stomach was huge but she only weighed 19lbs at 23 months. Now she is 25lbs and super healthy. I was going to do before and after pictures but I am way to lazy to upload our latest photos. She is sick there and look how cute she still is.

I really want to be a cool blogger like the rest of you, so I am trying again. It's just I keep forgetting to blog. Right after I started my blog I found out I was pregnant then the morning sickness set in and I just didn't feel like blogging. Then as soon as I was feeling a bit better we found out Ivy has Celiac Disease and I forgot I even had a blog most of the time. I don't know how Amy kept up on her blog the entire time she was going through chemo. It is amazing to me. So here is my 2nd attempt at my blog.

I guess you could say things have been pretty crazy at the Lee house the last few months. Like I said earlier Ivy was diagnosed with Celiac disease. Celiac disease is insane. We have her on a very strict diet. She can't have anything with wheat, rye, barley, and oats. You may be thinking. Well that's not that bad. Trust me, it is. People think wheat should go in everything like; season packets, butter, cooking spray, a lot of canned foods, even some ice cream and candy. She can't be in the same room where flour is being used and can't play with play dough. On Sunday we take tapioca bread in a special container and put it up front with the other bread to be blessed. We always sit in the back so they can find us easily. The nursery is so thoughtful. They have gone completely Gluten Free for Ivy. What a huge blessing that is. I was getting very stressed out at the thought of taking Ivy and the baby to Relief Society. I have found a few easy things to buy for easy lunches for Ivy but mostly I cook everything from scratch. The one thing I won't give up is pizza night. So Curtis and I will get a pizza for us and I will make Ivy her own little Gluten Free pizza which she loves. Even though it is a pain and we continue to mess up from time to time and make Ivy sick, I feel it is such a blessing we caught it when we did. Celiac can cause a lot of other diseases in the long run if it goes untreated. I have heard so many stories of people that found out to late. I am also glad we found out early in my pregnancy. I don't know how well these new hormones could have dealt with the news. I am very ready to not be pregnant any more. I am really tired, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I am ready to move on from the last couple months and concentrate on my growing little family. Any time now. I am dilated to a 3. If I don't go into labor before, I will be induced march 22nd. I can't wait!!!!!